Page 29 - Bexar County Medical Society Purchasing Directory

FEATURE

siesta. Man’s best friend is often heard snoring along with the master the lack of rain, you will find that the habit of sprinkling precious
during the early afternoon post prandial hours. No worries about water over the ground is so pervasive in suburban yards, that hu-
hobby gardening as most everything is now dead. Spiny slimy ochre midity levels will remain intolerable, and you will suffer from
flourishes along with basil, but master gardeners as well as mad dogs drenching sweats, yeast infections, and insect bites from every un-
and Englishmen may persist and even flourish during these months. scheduled moment outside. I strongly advise staying inside and put-
Tomatoes leave this world near the beginning of the season in green ting a large faced thermometer and hygrometer outside an
garb and charred shriveled ash. Scorpions, poisonous snakes, ven- often-viewed window to realize the miraculous importance of air
omous spiders, cacti, and the chiggers flourish in this yearly three- conditioning, prepare a disaster plan in the event of air conditioning
month solar storm. The chigger, for those novitiates, is a nearly failure, and check for meteorological records which in this day of
microscopic bug that hops on people’s legs, crawls laboriously up rapid climate change are plentiful and commonplace rather than ex-
to their warm, moist, intertriginous private parts, and bites. The in- traordinary as in the past. If the elderly or infirm live nearby and an
sect dies due to scratching, but the secretions it deposits results in awful stench is noted, it is wise to call the authorities for them to
itching the equivalent on an itch scale to the habanero pepper on investigate the source and bring in the proper assistance. Just when
the Scoville heat scale. Unfortunately, the itch continues until a week you think you live in a desert, the skies open and provide tons of
has passed, you have removed the offending skin, or you have rainwater to overwhelm streets, houses, ball fields, streams, bridges,
passed to the next world. Forget about sleeping during this period and reservoirs. These downpours may last minutes or days and
unless medicated with heavy doses of occur without pattern. Of course, this bounty comes from and is
corticosteroids. less sadistic lost to the Gulf of Mexico when rivers overflow their banks and
societies might consider water seeks its level.
this as a form of tor- If for some reason you are caught outside during hours of solar
ture that if used index greater than 1, be careful while driving. These tempera-
would lead one to tures cause many drivers to exercise their hand gestures, vocal
spill the prover- cords, car horns, weaponry, and automobile maneuverability
bial beans for resulting in confrontations, dangerous driving situations,
every question and inappropriate rage. Every inch of road becomes con-
asked. Adven- tested as if privately owned, and anger becomes murderous
turous Texans with minimal provocation. What would easily be forgiven
who want to in Fallwinterspring, becomes a matter of intense outrage,
foolheartedly be and a personal afront leading to respect and honor vendettas.
outdoors during Hot heads lead to bad decisions and illogical thought, and tem-
these months seek a peratures inside vehicles without AC often rise to intolerable lev-
river, lake, reservoir, or els such that children should never be left unattended particularly
man-made water hole for if they are driving. driving should be avoided
relief. Advice to the wise and so- during the heat of the day along with talk-
larphobe is that between the hours of 9 a.m. ing, meeting, arguing, any confrontation
and 7 p.m. stay indoors, and work on crafts such as soap or or possible confrontation, appoint-
candle making, reading, writing, board games, sewing, ments of any kind, and decisions of
painting pictures, repairs and maintenance, cooking with- any import. I often break this rule
out heat, irritating your pertinent other or sib, and any during Mid-Summer but what do you
other activity best done in slow motion. Would you let me expect when you are not thinking ra-
know what your favorite is? tionally? In fact, if hibernation is at all
If the pet wants to go outdoors, open the door occasionally possible during this period, nestle down
but this is not a time for the leisurely walk. If the pet insists, in a nice cool cavern.
limit your walking to before 7 a.m. and after 7 p.m., and go no fur- One of the few blessings of this season is
ther than necessary for their bladder and alimentary relief. Months fruit such as peaches, watermelons, papayas, mangos, and pineap-
of days with daytime temperatures over 100 degrees Fahrenheit are ples. These wonders start to appear in Early Summer and may per-
common, and months of days without rain are also the rule. despite sist until late Summer. Make sure you take advantage of this bounty
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