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FEATURE:
took his tablet. One day I thought that he had taken more than one.
N would say that he does not need any medication and that he has
reached a state of self-realization. Nevertheless he took it like an obe-
dient child. I was reminded of the movie ‘One Flew Over the
Cuckoo’s Nest’ where Jack Nicholson obediently takes the pill that
the nurse puts in his mouth followed by a gulp of water, pretends
to swallow, opens his mouth so the nurse can inspect while he hides
the pill under his tongue and spits it out later. N did swallow the
pill. Navigating everyday life was stressful in making sure he ate
healthy food as he was eating uncontrollably especially sweet food,
that he got some fresh air as he did not have any desire to step into
the garden – his heaven before the illness, engaging him in activities
so he won’t get to the computer, and worry about safety so he won’t
get into the car and drive or go out of the gate on his own. To this
day he has not crossed these lines.
During this trying period our children, extended family and very
close friends were god’s gift to me. I constantly had someone vis-
iting. We accomplished a lot each time the children came. Medical
and financial power of attorney was in the works. Bank accounts
were secured. Long term care insurance claim was being processed.
To digress a little, I highly recommend long-term care insurance
for all young people. You start off at a very low premium and it
really served us in a timely manner. N eagerly awaited his younger
brother’s visit. His brother is an urologist, a person who is very re-
ligious and adheres to rituals very staunchly. He is well read in the
Hindu scriptures and Upanishads and has a very deep understand-
ing of the complex philosophies. Before he arrived he had long
conversations with me explaining N’s symptomatology on the basis
of meditation.
Researchers have long known that meditation changes the brains
of those who practice it. N’s brother explained how through medi-
tation one is raising the level of the ‘Kundalini,’ or consciousness,
gradually to reach realization. He thought that N has reached a
higher level of consciousness and that negative forces are pulling him
down and this struggle has created a state of utmost tension, sleep-
lessness and anxiety. I suggested to N that he should stop medita-
tion. He refused and continued to meditate. What was going
through his mind during the meditation I will never know but I saw
him coming back to bed tense and not being able to fall asleep. One
of our good friends, also a man given to religion and spirituality,
suggested that I do a certain ‘Puja’ worship every day where we offer
water to the deity and drink a spoon of that water. He knows well
that N does not believe in rituals so he suggested that I might mix
IN REAL TIME
the water in the food.
N’s sisters in India were doing different ‘Pujas’ to their favorite
deities praying for his recovery. They requested me to do a ‘puja’ to
Shiva. My brother was with me that day. I asked N if he will partic-
ipate since his sister had suggested this. He agreed and we chanted
the name of Shiva 108 times. Being a very close family, my sisters
in Los Angeles and Las Cruces and my sister-in-law in Houston all
did the Puja with us from wherever they were. Whether it made a
difference to N or not it made me feel good.
The use of yoga and meditation has increased in the U.S. in recent
years. A study was done at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center
comparing two groups of patients with Alzheimer’s Dementia.
Group one did a combination of yoga and meditation and the other
did memory enhancement exercises like crossword puzzles. At the
beginning and end of 12 weeks of treatment both groups had a
memory test and MRI of the brain. The yoga and meditation group
demonstrated greater improvements in visual-spatial memory skills –
the ability to navigate and remember locations – than those who en-
gaged in memory enhancement training.
It was almost a month since medication was started. The dose was
at 50 mg. N was getting worse. Driving with him was extremely
stressful. He would constantly instruct me to turn, exit, speed or
slowdown. Once when we were riding with our friends the driver
had gone past the exit. N insisted that he knew where to go and we
drove on 1604 for many miles before we stopped listening to him
and turned around. It was very puzzling how three adults, all physi-
cians, were unable to fathom the altered mental status of N. In
thinking back I can’t explain why I or others faked the façade of nor-
malcy when we were with him when he was so obviously unwell. It
is important to pay attention to safety and, if the caregiver is not
physically capable, to have help at home or nearby.
One more visit to the psychiatrist on a Friday and the dose of the
medicine was doubled to 100 mg. On Monday N on his own said
that he wanted to work in the yard, the yard being five acres of Texas
wilderness except for an acre right around the house. N’s hobby was
to grow fruit trees. In March he busied himself with grafting. Two
days after the increased dose of medicine he was out grafting plants
for nearly an hour. I kept an eye on him, very happy that he was
back to an activity he loved. Is this the beginning of a recovery? The
next day April 12, 2016 in the evening he again said he wants to go
out and graft. That night our son and his family were coming home
to spend their spring break. I was cooking and must have lost track
of time for about 20 minutes. I looked through the window around
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