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WHEN DOCTORS
SAY ‘I DO’
portant to consider when one residency or preferred location is lenge to the dual-physician family if one member is in a fulfilling
more competitive than the other. and profitable practice situation while the other needs to move on.
Once again a decision must be made as to what is essential, what is
“No one is allowed any time off on this rotation…unless you survivable, and whose practice takes priority.
are getting married, in which case you can have a day off.” At the
time, our attending on the inpatient psychiatry service didn’t know Reluctant to get involved in another private practice, Paula took
we were already planning on getting married. Our classmates were a job in urgent care with the expectation that another move was
invited to the reception in Jeff ’s parents’ back yard, not knowing right around the corner. In fact, Jeff spent the last 16 years of his
we had gotten married that morning because we didn’t want our Air Force career moving around San Antonio, and Paula just cele-
loan-broke friends to feel obligated to bring presents. Our honey- brated her 25th year at Texas MedClinic. Sometimes things work
moon was a Sunday night at La Mansion and a Monday off as our out fine, but the stress of unanticipated or unwanted practice
attending reluctantly stood by his flippant comment. Tuesday we changes will strain any relationship.
chaperoned a ward full of psychiatric patients at a Brackenridge
Park picnic which we took as an omen of the challenges we would LOVE AND PATIENCE
face trying to balance our married and professional lives. A recent British Medical Journal article suggests that rather than
Over the next several years, work and training limited time off having a higher divorce rate, physicians divorce less than the general
together with one of us either in-house, on-call or sleeping off a population as a whole, although how this applies to dual-physician
bad shift all the time. Even after residency is complete, it can be families is not clear. The dual income is nice and removes some of
easy to fall into conflicting work and call schedules so that relaxed the financial stresses some families suffer, but it comes with the
quality time for the twin professional family, especially once chil- price of uncoordinated long hours, unpredictable ability to be
dren enter the mix, may be hard to find. Another physician couple where the family wants you to be, and periodic career upheaval if
we know holds Friday nights sacred (Jeff ’s new boss warned him, one partner needs to move. With love and patience it can be done,
“I don’t do Friday call”) as a date night, and this is one way to man- and we both feel lucky that we “married well.”
age this difficult balance.
Speaking of omens, we were married on the day Mount St. Helens
How did we manage child sick days, doctor appointments, trans- blew up, so we can honestly say the “earth moved” on our wedding
porting two children to different schools, parent-teacher confer- day. This summer we will continue our occasionally volcanic marriage
ences, school performances, sports events and family vacations? by celebrating our 35th anniversary in Pompeii. The trip to Italy was
Fortunately, Paula’s schedule was more flexible than Jeff ’s, so it all carefully planned to be sure we would be back in Texas for the first
worked out. And looking back, it was all a blur. birthday of our first grandson. This life adventure isn’t over yet.
We started together in an Air Force Family Practice clinic and Paula Lyons, MD, is a family medicine practitioner at Texas Med-
when Jeff was transferred to Alaska in an operational medicine po- Clinic. Jeffrey Meffert, MD, is a dermatologist at the University of
sition, Paula left the service and worked in a private practice setting Texas Health Science Center San Antonio and a BCMS member.
until it was time to move back stateside. It can be a significant chal-
visit us at www.bcms.org 15
