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SLEEP
MEDICINE

Should I Consider a

Sleep Divorce?!?

The solo versus co-sleeping debate.

By Alex McKinlay, MD

H e snores, she tosses and turns. She moves her legs all night lems such as obesity, diabetes, heart disease and additional cognitive

long, he takes several trips to the John. When it comes to
decline. The data is less instructive on whether co-sleeping or solo
sleep habits, it’s difficult to make a perfect match, isn’t it? Be
honest. Is there at least one thing about your partner’s sleep you would sleeping is better. In one survey-based study of over 1,000 adults, sleep-
ing with a partner/spouse was associated with better sleep quality and
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change? You’re not alone, as nearly one in four couples choose some mental health overall. Another study compared 10 couples, over 28
form of sleep separation from their partner, consistent days, sleeping both apart and together, and found that
with a survey indicating that around one in four while co-sleeping had negative effects on sleep
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people sleep better alone. Another study in women, sleeping alone had negative ef-
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shows sleeping apart can improve fects on sleep in men. Another con-
communication, and reduce con- cluded that transitions into and
flict and irritability. out of either co-sleeping or solo
sleeping (read into and out of
Our need for good sleep relationships, marriages, etc.)
There is a growing tide of are worse for sleep than is
openness and honesty re- consistency (remaining ei-
garding our sleep, and ther co- or solo sleeping).
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coupled with an increased It’s not clear that any
understanding of sleep’s emerging data will settle
importance to overall the score.
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health, has an increasing
number of couples consid- So, what should I do?
ering a divorce …. of sorts — One needn’t search too
a “sleep divorce.” Quite simply, long to find both “for” and
a sleep divorce is sleeping sepa- “against” arguments for sleep di-
rately — maybe in another bed in vorce. Just ask CNN, the New
the same room, or maybe in different York Times, Harvard Health, or even
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rooms altogether. Not necessarily the movie stars like Cameron Diaz! They
most romantic of terms, but the sleep divorce are all happy to openly discuss the pros and
must have some merit, as it is becoming quite com- cons of breaking away and creating a customized
mon. Let’s figure out why! sleep environment for one. But don’t take anyone’s (or maybe any
Current evidence supports what we as humans have always known: study’s) word for it, as sleep is highly personal — and very difficult
we need ample quality and adequate quantity of sleep to be our best. to study! As you consider the following, take comfort in knowing
Sleep deprivation can lead to depression, anxiety and difficulty with there are improvements you can make to your sleeping situation that
executive function. It also increases the risk for untoward health prob- will be worth it!

18 SAN ANTONIO MEDICINE • March 2024