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MEDICAL SCHOOL BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
TRAINING

“How to Know a Person

The Art of Seeing Others Deeply “ “Artificial intelligence is going to do many things for us in the

and Being Deeply Seen” thing it will never be able to do is to create person-to-person
connections. If you want to thrive in the age of AI, you better

By David Brooks decades ahead, and replace humans at many tasks, but one “
become exceptionally good at connecting with others.”

Reviewed by David Alex Schulz

Books come to this page primarily from readers’ suggestions. The He goes on to detail his exploration that led to an understanding Brooks writes that we deal too much in abstraction and that, “The
recent focus on Artificial Intelligence here and throughout the medical of the social dynamic of people acting as either Diminishers or Illu- real act of building a friendship or creating a community involves per-
community prompted a member to suggest David Brooks’ “How to minators. forming a series of small, concrete social actions well … these are some
Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply of the most important skills a human being can possess, and yet we
Seen” for curative contrast. “Diminishers make people feel small and unseen … They stereotype don’t teach them in school. Some days it seems like we have intention-
and ignore,” Brooks writes. “Illuminators, on the other hand, have a ally built a society that gives people little guidance on how to perform
Indeed. By page 10, the author writes, “Artificial intelligence persistent curiosity about other people … They shine the brightness the most important activities of life. As a result, a lot of us are lonely
is going to do many things for us in the decades ahead, and replace of their care on people and make them feel bigger, deeper, respected, and lack deep friendships. … And a life spent on social media is not
humans at many tasks, but one thing it will never be able to do is to lit up.” These are the forces that stress and tear at our fabric, the author exactly helping people learn these skills.”
create person-to-person connections. If you want to thrive in the age feels. Rather than overgeneralize, Brooks takes a deep dive into the
of AI, you better become exceptionally good at connecting with others” characteristics that comprise these types: The rest of the book compiles examples of putting these virtues
(emphasis added). into action, particularly in learning to express authentic compassion
Distinctive among Diminishers is behavior marked by Egotism for those suffering or hurting; and heartfelt joyfulness for those mark-
Brooks, a New York Times Editorial Page writer, has covered social, (“The number one reason people don’t see others is that they are ing achievement.
economic, arts and political issues for The Wall Street Journal, The too self-centered to try); Anxiety (“… too much noise in their own
Weekly Standard, Newsweek, The Atlantic Monthly, NPR and the PBS heads, can’t hear what’s going on in others”); Naïve Realism (assum- But is the read worth your time; moreover, are these tools necessary
NewsHour as well. His thirty-thousand-foot view sees our social fabric ing the way the world appears to you is the same for everyone); The to those in the medical community?
fraying under stress and repeated shocks. He also recognizes that, as Lesser-Minds Problem (a person’s assumption of being deeper, more
a writer with significant voice and some agency, he was obligated to interesting, more subtle and more high-minded than others); Objec- “Considering that all patients are individual humans with foibles
analyze it more closely, and suggest ways to ameliorate — to repair the tivism (observing but not participating; judging and measuring but and particular ways of being, knowing and processing information,”
fabric, reweaving where needed. not involving); Essentialism (stereotyping from generalizations); and said a career nurse I know who had read Brooks’ book enthusiastically,
The Static Mindset (unwillingness to recognize that people change in “the better a healthcare professional can listen to the level of articula-
“The purpose of this book,” writes author David Brooks, “is to help time). tion and read the nonverbal clues, the better they will communicate
us become more skilled at the art of seeing others and making them medical findings in the most advantageous way.”
feel seen, heard, and understood.” In defining and understanding Diminisher behaviors, a certain
amount of self-reflection — inventorying one’s own behavior — is nat- This former head of hospice nursing is now navigating How to
In his 40 years of journalism, Brooks has interviewed and profiled ural; fortunately, the author is extremely articulate in defining without Know a Person’s companion workbook, designed by Brooks for
hundreds of luminaries. “When I started research on this subject,” advising — simply pointing out features that have become too com- those wanting “exercises, reflections, and actionable steps designed to
writes Brooks, “I had no clue what this skill consisted of. But I did mon in public discourse. enhance your ability to connect authentically.” More than a diagno-
know that exceptional people in many fields had taught themselves sis of society’s post-pandemic condition, Brooks provides a manual
Brooks then moves on to define Illuminators and their charac-
versions of this skill.” teristics, beginning fortuitously with an example just up the road of therapies and a course of recuperation — the very warp and woof
“ “The purpose of this book,” writes author David Brooks, “is “ neighborhoods together — people “who drive civic life.” The char- David Alex Schulz is certified in HIPAA privacy and security
needed for a reweaving.
in Waco in a journey to find the kind of people who knit towns and
acteristics of Illuminators require fewer explanatory notes, as qual-
compliance, and a contributing writer to San Antonio Medicine
ities to which I believe we each aspire: Tenderness; Receptivity;
to help us become more skilled at the art of seeing others
magazine.
Active Curiosity; Affection; Generosity; and A Holistic Attitude.
and making them feel seen, heard, and understood.”

30 SAN ANTONIO MEDICINE • June 2024 Visit us at www.bcms.org 31