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AUTO
REVIEW

It’s COVID-19 time, which means, I recently discovered to my Sports Exhaust: many sporty cars and SUVs have this feature,
chagrin, that I can’t get press cars for a while. That’s life, but the which I mostly like. In Normal (neighbor friendly) mode the ex-
show must go on, and I’ve decided to write a column I’ve been haust note is hey-it’s-just-little-ole-me quiet, but when you’re push-
thinking about doing for a while: a discussion of automotive fea- ing the car in Sport mode it releases its aural Tiger King and lets
tures that I either like or dislike. So, in no particular order, here the good engine sounds out. In general I enjoy this feature, but
we go. shame on Porsche for charging around $3,000 for it. There’s no
way it costs more than $30 to do.
Backup Cameras: these wonderful devices have been around
for more than 20 years and have been mandatory on new cars Heated Steering Wheels: OMG gurl is this not the greatest
since 2018, but I still feel gratitude every time I use one. How thing ever invented?!! When I first heard about it I thought it was
many bumper dings have they prevented? The number has to ap- stupid. And then I tried it, and my life changed. Like right then. I
proach infinity. don’t care if you live in the hottest place in the world—and south
Texas is pretty close to that sometimes—this wonderful feature
Smart Cruise Control: if you have a stop-and-go commute
is a must have. Early mornings will never be the same.
on the freeway these features are a godsend. The most sophisti-
cated ones now use radar, GPS, and cameras so that, literally, all Blind Spot Protection: like backup cameras these are ubiqui-
you need to do is steer the car. And they’re as smooth as you are, tous, and I appreciate them almost as much. I’ve always been good
if not smoother. Stress Reliever. about checking my blind spot, but seeing that little light on the
mirror somehow makes me feel just a little bit safer.
Lane Keep Assist: maybe the most annoying automotive party
trick ever, this “driving enhancement tool” pulls you back into Apple Carplay: if you have an iPhone this is so great. All of
your lane when you want to leave it and seems oblivious to the your music, podcasts, contacts, etc. magically appear on your car’s
fact that meandering backcountry roads aren’t the same as gridded main screen. And your phone’s Waze app is better than any OEM
city streets. Unless you hate driving and enjoy being pushed navigation system anyway. Plus you can access it all so easily. Just
around by your tech this is an option to avoid. make sure your phone connects to the system via Bluetooth, oth-
erwise it’s pretty lame.
Touchscreens: I’m mostly fine with these, but I’m becoming
concerned that they’re going too far (I’m looking at you, Audi and
To get your best deal on a new vehicle, call Phil Hornbeak at
Porsche). Audio volume and cabin temperature should always be
BCMS at 210-301-4367.
controlled by a knob, and opening the rear hatch should always
involve pushing a physical button, not scrolling through menus Stephen Schutz, MD, is a board-certified gastroenterologist
on a screen. Sometimes engineers need non-engineers with the who lived in San Antonio in the 1990s when he was stationed
authority to say “Stop!” overseeing their work. here in the US Air Force. He has been writing auto reviews for
San Antonio Medicine since 1995.

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